Donold J. Grump #25

The Night of the Reckoning

The Presidential Suite of the White House was in shambles. Half-eaten McDonald’s wrappers covered the golden nightstand, ketchup packets were smeared on classified documents, and at least three five-gallon buckets of paint—Grump’s latest obsession—were haphazardly stacked in a corner.

And in the middle of it all, President Donold J. Grump stood, his purple velvet robe draped over his bloated frame, his oversized golden crown slightly crooked, and his Grump-Approved Adult Diaper™ sagging from overuse.

Outside, the nation mourned the tragic midair collision between an American Airlines jet and a military Black Hawk helicopter over Washington, D.C. Sixty-four passengers. Three service members. All gone.

The country was in shock. Families were grieving. Investigators were searching for answers.

And where was President Grump?

He was in his bedroom, shoving a mushroom burrito into his mouth and blaming DEI.

          ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Fake Moment of Silence

Earlier that afternoon, Grump had faked a moment of silence for the victims. He lasted five seconds before impatiently tapping his foot and checking Zitter on his phone.

Then, with zero hesitation, he launched into an unhinged rant.

“I saw the video, folks. I have the best vision, tremendous vision, and let me tell you—it was the military’s fault! Pilot error! You had a clear night, clear skies, perfect conditions—beautiful conditions, actually. And yet, boom, they crash. Why? Because of DEI, that’s why! Diversity! Equity! Inclusion! It’s disgusting, folks. We used to have strong pilots. Now we have—well, I don’t even want to say it, but you know. You know.”

The families of the passengers and crew watched in horror as Grump mocked their loved ones on live television. He didn't even pretend to care.

And then, as if the insult wasn’t enough, he doubled down.

“You know, helicopters… they go up, they go down, they go straight up, and then they go straight down. People don’t realize that. I know that. I’ve always known that. But these so-called ‘trained pilots’—they don’t know that! I mean, why didn’t the helicopter just move up? Or down? I don’t get it! It’s very simple! Up, down, straight up, straight down. Boom. No crash. Why don’t people think like this? It’s crazy!”

Even Faux Newz was forced to issue a correction when they awkwardly clarified that Grump’s new Secretary of Defense, Pete Hoggs-Breath, had "no involvement in the crash."

Which only made things worse. No one had even accused Pete of anything.

          ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Grump waddled around his bedroom, still shoving the half-eaten burrito into his mouth, mumbling to himself about helicopters and DEI.

But tonight, something was different.

The lights flickered. The chandelier rattled. A strange heat filled the air.

And then—BOOM!

A fireball exploded in the middle of the room.

Grump jumped back, shrieking, dropping his burrito onto the carpet.

Hovering above him, Sparky’s scales burned red, his eyes glowing like molten gold.

“YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR, DONNY!” Sparky roared, his wings spreading wide, knocking over a pile of secret documents and a stack of ketchup-stained Big Mac wrappers.

Grump gulped. “S-Sparky? What’s with the fire, buddy?”

Sparky’s tail lashed angrily. “I HAVE WATCHED YOU LIE, STEAL, AND HUMILIATE THIS COUNTRY. BUT PUBLICALLY BLAMING IT ON PILOT ERROR IS TOO MUCH! YOU ARE PURE SLIMEY GARBAGE. SAD. PATHETIC. GARBAGE. 

Grump laughed nervously. “Oh, c’mon, Sparky. It was pilot error! You saw the video. I have great vision. Tremendous vision. The best vision!”

Sparky swooped down, blasting a wave of heat inches from Grump’s face.

“THEY WERE PEOPLE DONNY! HUMAN BEINGS. CHILDREN, FAMILIES. ALL DEAD, AND YOU GO ON TV AND BLAME DEI! YOU HAVE NO HEART!”

Grump yelped and stumbled backward, tripping over his nightstand and knocking over a bucket of paint.

“YOU ARE A FAILURE AS A LEADER. A FAILURE AS A HUSBAND. A FAILURE AS A HUMAN BEING! YOU ARE GARBAGE!”

Grump crawled backward, his crown slipping off his head as he scrambled away from the flames.

“Sparky, c’mon! Enough with the fire already! You’re making the Secret Service nervous!”

Sparky’s eyes blazed. “DONNY, YOU THINK YOU’RE THE GREATEST? YOUR NOT, YOUR NOTHING BUT RAW SEWAGE. PATHETIC LYING STINKING RAW GARBAGEI I AM DONE WITH YOU!”

Sparky spun into a whirlwind of fire. The room crackled with heat. The air shimmered. And then—BOOM!  With one final burst of flame, Sparky vanished into thin air. 

The room was empty. Silent.

Grump sat frozen, his robe in tatters, his diaper sagging.

“S-Sparky?”

Nothing.

“Sparky, c’mon, buddy. You were just joking, right? You’re just messing with me?”

Still, nothing.

And then, as Grump turned, he tripped over a chair, tumbling forward—his face landing straight into a five-gallon bucket of blue paint. As Donnie sat up, he wiped the paint from his eyes and saw himself in his computer screen. He looked even more pathetic than he felt when he heard laughter coming thru the speaker. People were watching him. Thousands and thousands of people. Donnie had forgotten he turned on HotChix4You to chat with a hot girls in his area. He was live, being watched. .

Within minutes, over three thousand videos went viral.

📢 BREAKING NEWS: GRUMP HUMILIATED AS IMAGINARY DRAGON ABANDONS HIM—FALLS FACE-FIRST INTO PAINT.

     🔥 Cry Baby Grump begs for his Sparky!!

     🔥 Sparky: Real or Imaginary? Let's Talk.

     🔥 Hot singles in Grumps area? We have the pics!

     🔥 #BlueFacedBaby trended worldwide.

TV Hosts Roasted Him:

     📺 “This is the first time we’ve seen Grump show any real emotion—and it’s because his imaginary dragon dumped him!”

     📺 “Not only did he lose Sparky, but he also lost a fight against furniture!”

     📺 “Where is Melanomia? Has she abandoned Grump as well?

”The public celebrated his totally humiliating behavior. #FallingInPaintChallenges took off with talks of a TV show.  US Veterans groups called it “karma.” US Gold Star families said it was “justice.” 

Even conservative Shawn Vanity of Faux Newz cringed at his behavior. Disgusting, UnAmerican and Liberal thru and thru. 

For the first time, the entire country agreed on something: Donold J. Grump had finally humiliated himself beyond repair.

          ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Grump sat on the floor, his hair and face dripping with blue paint, robe torn, diaper sagging. He was alone, all alone. Even Sparky, a hallucination, had left him. Just like Melanomia. Just like his cabinet members. Just like the American people. Grump clutched a teddy bear, tears rolling down his blue-painted face.

“Sparky… please… I’m sorry…”

His voice cracked.

“…Come back…”

But Sparky was gone.

Donold J. Grump had no one.

And the world was laughing again.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just remember if you have someone in your life that loves you, holds you at night, makes you laugh, cry...

Then you are richer than

"He Who is PU!"