Emptee Gee #2

The Mistress of DOGIE

Emptee’s heels clicked unevenly against the lobby tiles as she marched toward her destiny—or what she assumed was her destiny. Viviant, her shimmering dragon, fluttered alongside her, the delicate glow of his scales casting faint rainbows on the polished marble.

“You know, Viviant,” she said, flipping her hair with a dramatic flourish, “I think DOGIE is going to revolutionize the way we think about power.”

“Oh, absolutely,” Viviant purred, his tiny claws gesturing enthusiastically. “DOGIE is going to be the biggest thing since powdered wigs. Maybe bigger.”

“Bigger than powdered wigs?” Emptee gasped, clutching her chest. “Is that even possible?”

“Of course it is,” Viviant replied. “Powdered wigs didn’t have you.”

She let out a delighted laugh, her voice echoing through the eerily empty lobby. For a moment, she stopped in her tracks, turning in a slow circle. “Wait a minute… where is everyone?”

Viviant floated around her head, surveying the desolate scene. “Hmm. Looks like they’ve all vanished. Your earlier performance might have… scared them off.”

Emptee’s eyes sparkled. “Scared them? You mean, inspired them?”

“Let’s go with that,” Viviant said diplomatically.

She nodded, her confidence unwavering. “Of course. Inspiration can be overwhelming for the unprepared. They probably ran off to process their emotions.”

Viviant snickered. “Or call for backup.”

Undeterred, Emptee walked to the center of the lobby, pausing beneath the grand chandelier. Its golden light bathed her in a radiant glow, which she interpreted as divine approval.

“This is perfect,” she said, untying the belt of her robe. “Now I can show you my vision.”

“Finally,” Viviant said, his tiny voice tinged with anticipation. “I’ve been waiting all night for this.”

Emptee spun in place, letting the robe flare out dramatically. Beneath it, she wore nothing but a glowing sense of destiny. Viviant clapped his claws together in delight.

“Magnificent!” he declared. “The future of fashion is here!”

Emptee twirled faster, the robe flying open in flashes, revealing glimpses of her bare skin. “Do you see it, Viviant? Pilgrim Chic! The collars, the hats, the muskets—it’s all coming together!”

“I see it,” Viviant replied solemnly. “You’re a genius. A visionary.”

Emptee collapsed to her knees, spreading her arms wide as if addressing an invisible audience. “The nation doesn’t deserve me,” she said, her voice quivering with emotion. “Not yet. But soon, they will.”

“Soon,” Viviant echoed, his eyes gleaming. “Very soon.”

She gazed at the chandelier, her chest heaving dramatically. “Do you think Grump’s thinking of me right now?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Viviant said. “He’s probably pacing back and forth, wondering how he ever lived without you.”

Emptee let out a blissful sigh. “He gets me, Viviant. He really does.”

Berry’s Barroom Breakdown

Meanwhile, Berry sat at the lobby bar, hunched over his third glass of whiskey. He had tried to process what had just happened, but the more he thought about it, the less sense it made. DOGIE? Consecrated lady parts? Pilgrims with muskets? His head was spinning.

“Another,” he grumbled, sliding the empty glass toward the bartender.

The bartender hesitated, glancing at the growing crowd of reporters clustered near the entrance. Their cameras flashed incessantly, capturing Berry’s every frustrated sip.

“Sir,” the bartender said cautiously, “are you sure—”

“Do I look like I’m not sure?” Berry snapped. “Just pour.”

The bartender complied, sliding the glass back to him. “Rough night?”

Berry let out a humorless laugh. “You could say that. My wife thinks she’s been ‘blessed’ by Donold Grump. And now she’s… she’s partnered with some… some thing called DOGIE!”

The bartender raised an eyebrow. “What’s DOGIE?”

“I DON’T KNOW!” Berry shouted, drawing the attention of the reporters. “Nobody knows! She doesn’t even know!”

A reporter leaned closer, her microphone extended. “Mr. Berry, is it true that Mrs. Berry’s position at DOGIE is part of Grump’s larger plan for national reform?”

Berry blinked at her, utterly bewildered. “What? No! There’s no plan! It’s just… nonsense! She’s out of her mind!”

Another reporter chimed in. “What about the rumors that DOGIE stands for ‘Department of Grump’s Immaculate Empowerment’? Can you confirm?”

Berry slammed his glass down. “It doesn’t stand for anything! It’s just—just some crazy idea she made up!”

The reporters scribbled furiously in their notebooks, their excitement palpable. Berry buried his face in his hands. “Oh, for the love of—can’t a man have a breakdown in peace?”

“Sir,” the bartender whispered, leaning closer, “security’s asking me to tell you… you and your wife need to leave the hotel. Tonight.”

Berry groaned. “Of course we do.”

Emptee’s Grand Finale

Back in the lobby, Emptee was mid-twirl, her robe fluttering around her like a theatrical cape. She reached out to Viviant, who floated above her, exuding an aura of approval.

“Do you see it, Viviant?” she asked breathlessly. “Do you see the future?”

“I see it,” Viviant replied, his tiny voice filled with awe. “And it’s glorious.”

Emptee laughed, a wild, triumphant sound. “The world isn’t ready for us, Viviant. But that’s okay. We’ll make them ready.”

“Indeed,” Viviant said. “But maybe we should start small. Like… putting on some pants.”

She waved him off. “Pants are for the uninspired.”

At that moment, Berry emerged from the bar, his face red with frustration. “Emptee, what the hell are you doing?”

She stopped mid-spin, her robe swinging open for a brief, scandalous moment. “Berry! You’re just in time. Viviant and I were rehearsing.”

Berry blinked at her, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. “Rehearsing for what?”

“For the unveiling of DOGIE!” she said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“You’re insane,” Berry muttered, running a hand through his hair. “We’re being kicked out of the hotel, by the way. Full refund. They’re sending us packing.”

Emptee gasped. “Packing? How dare they! Don’t they know who I am?”

“They definitely know,” Berry muttered under his breath.

Emptee didn’t hear him. She was too busy spinning again, her robe flying open in a way that made Berry slap a hand over his face. “For God’s sake, Emptee, you’re practically naked!”

She stopped, her eyes narrowing. “Practically? That’s insulting. Viviant, tell him I’m completely naked.”

Viviant chuckled. “He’s just jealous of your confidence.”

“Of course he is,” Emptee said with a haughty sniff. “Men like him always are.”

Berry threw his hands in the air. “I can’t do this. I’m going upstairs to pack. You… do whatever the hell this is.”

As he stomped away, Emptee twirled one last time, her laughter ringing out like a bell. Viviant hovered beside her, his eyes gleaming with mischief.

“Shall we continue?” he asked.

“Oh, absolutely,” Emptee said, her voice brimming with excitement. “We’re just getting started.”